Digital Chaos
by nongenericuser
Summary: The story of a lazy Agumon, his friends, their godlike Tamer, and how Veemon can never get over cheeseburgers...Rated M for (possible) upcoming lemon. It's my first of many crazy stories, and I was half brain-dead writing the first chapter, so...Well, enjoy it, or just let it slide through your mind.


**Well, guys, here it is! The first of many strange and bizarre adventures featuring Agumon!**

**Just to give you an idea of what this is, it's the life of a Dragon Rookie after an incident in which Apocalymon nearly destroyed the Digital and Real Worlds, only to be thwarted by the mighty heroes the Royal Knights.**

**Life is almost back to normal, except recently, a Tamer developed an amazing program that lets him play God with his Digimon companions. Things are gonna get bad, aren't they?**

**IMPORTANT NOTE: THIS STORY DOES NOT OCCUR DURING THE STORYLINES OF ANY GIVEN ANIME. AS SUCH, YOU WILL SEE CHARACTERS LIKE PATAMON, AGUMON, VEEMON, RENAMON, GUILMON, BIYOMON, AND GABUMON TOGETHER. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.**

**Another warning. The Digimon will constantly be referred to with genders. Deal with it. Even though Digimon are genderless, masculine or feminine appearance, behavior, and personality will determine which gender I want them to be. Yes, Veemon, you get to be male. Stop whining.**

**Third note: The Digimon have families. Not like Nature Spirits or Nightmare Soldiers or Dragon's Roar. They have families, like "Mom" and "Dad," because data creates Digimon, so why can't Digimon give up some of their data to have a family?**

**Also, obviously, I don't own any of the franchises or characters belonging to these franchises in this entire story.**

Agumon was in a cage. A dark, wet, stinking cage in a cave with a lot of Viruses. Next to him were his brother, his friends, and an egg. Agumon Hakase was pacing the cage thinking of ways to escape, Tentomon was idly tapping on the bars, Guilmon was picking his teeth, Veemon was sleeping, Renamon was staring into space, and ToyAgumon was disassembling his arm and putting it back together. In another cage next to them, Agumon could see his other friends, Terriermon, Elecmon, and Gaomon. Below them, an army of Hagurumon were milling about, doing strange things, making Control Spires and messing with Data.

Agumon himself wasn't much to look at. He was bored all the time. His claws barely shined. Sometimes he forgot to brush his teeth. His Pepper Breath was more like Cinnamon Candy Breath. Sometimes people wondered if he was really related to the legendary adventurer VictoryGreymon, traveling the Digital World and saving entire countries with the might of one sword. Apparently the Beelzemon who kidnapped them as sacrifices thought the same way. "Ha ha ha, little dinosaur! I thought you and your brother were more like your older brother; heroic, mighty, and bold!" Agumon only flipped him off, pulled up the grey hood on his cloak, and ate a piece of bread one of the Hagurumon had thrown him earlier. "Why the long face, little boy? Aren't you afraid?" Agumon only lay down and went to sleep. _Another day, another less word out of this stupid bitch's mouth_, he thought as someone threw a blanket on him.

That day was eight months ago. Agumon still remembered the ways Beelzemon and his Viruses would torture him and his friends, or mock them, or bring in new prisoners, until the day VictoryGreymon and WarGreymon had come to rescue them. They had smashed down a stone wall, V-Grey had stuck his sword through Beelzemon, breaking him down into data, and W-Grey had cut open the cages, freeing all of them. As they escaped, with Agumon and Agumon Hakase being carried by their cousin, W-Grey, V-Grey was fending off the hordes of DemiDevimon with his giant sword while using his feet to fight a pair of SkullGreymon.

"Agumon, your older brother's so cool…Too bad you can't be like that…" Tentomon muttered in a sleepy voice.

That was probably the beginning of all the incidents where Agumon Hakase, V-Grey, and W-Grey started to stand him up.

**Back in the present!**

So what did it matter if Agumon was a total bore? He had his video games, his traveling cloak, sodas, and his own room. His Tamer can play God, building houses, creating food, all those cool God stuff. Agumon Hakase gets to teach and learn all he likes at the Digital World University. Tentomon can grow his garden all he likes. V-Grey can act like a kid all he wants, and Renamon can study as much as she likes.

"If you guys all get to do what you want, then why do you expect so much out of me?! Sheesh!" Agumon's sudden outburst caused Veemon to drop the pasta he made, causing the plate to shatter and food to fly everywhere. A shard of ceramic embedded itself in his ankle, and as he fell, ToyAgumon was rushing to help him. The blue dragon's face slammed into his friend's blocky body, causing ToyAgumon to shatter into pieces. Part of his tail hit Terriermon in the eye, causing him to knock over the chess game he was playing. Gaomon rushed to grab the chess pieces, but he tripped over Elecmon, and ended up hitting Renamon as she was walking by with some poetry. The books fell on Agumon's snout, and his nose started bleeding.

"Well, Agumon, that's why you don't get to be lazy and complain. You end up destroying everything. Now go get Veemon a bandage and put on your pants. No one wants to see you in your Batman underwear. (I do not own Batman.)" Renamon scowled, righted the glasses on her face, picked up her stack of books, and went to help Veemon clean up his pasta, while Terriermon, rubbing his eye, helped Gaomon, Elecmon, and ToyAgumon pick up the chess set. Guilmon came up the stairs with the clean laundry, and went searching for the bricks that made up ToyAgumon's legs.

As Agumon tied up Veemon's ragged wound, discussing politics, the Royal Knights, and food, something lifted Agumon by the back of his grey hoodie, dragged him through the air, dropped him in a cage, and threw in a book.

"Hey! What's the big idea, man! Stop abusing your godlike powers!" A coconut fell on Agumon's head, along with a letter. On the paper, it only said, _Shut up and do something._ Agumon started to get pissed off. "You want me to do something? Well, I'll do something!" He walked out of the cage and into his room, pulled out a miniature GeoGrey sword from under the bed, and walked up to V-Grey, who had just come home, and smashed the flat of the blade into his gut.

**Two hours later**

"Should we go get the cops?" Guilmon shrugged and pulled out his phone.

"Nah. Renamon, you call a construction crew, while we upload this to Youtube." V-Grey was chasing Agumon with two of his giant swords, trashing the whole place, while Agumon ran screaming, begging for his older brother to stop. "I wonder how Agumon can be so lazy and still never get a thrashing."

**I think I've done enough here. I know it's kinda shitty, but I finished writing this late in the night, feeling pretty sick. Well, it's a start…it's a start.**


End file.
